Network Like A Flirt

Don?t work the room, let the room work for you!?

By Stephen Harvard Davis 😕 leading business relationship specialist
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Attending networking meetings is part of business life. Often it means walking into a room filled with strangers. Many of us find it awkward, ?who do we speak to?? ?what do we say?? and more importantly how do we avoid those self-serving sharks who circle around any new face ready to sink their jaws into soft flesh?


There are endless books and courses on networking. Many of these say that we must ?work the room? and collect as many business cards as possible. The result is that we move from one person to another like honey bees, collecting business cards as we go, often failing to remember who we have met and once the event is over wonder why other people seem to be better at it than we are.
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This busy bee method of networking, flitting from one person to another collecting just the minimum of information, only ensures that we are not remembered. An alternative to working the room is to make the room work for us.
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Positioning yourself
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The most important position in a room full of people networking is the centre.
It?s the place that everyone will pass at least once, where new arrivals can be easily seen and where confident networkers tend to gravitate to and stay. Standing in the middle of the room makes us look confident and in control of the situation.?
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In order to position oneself at the centre of the room we need to plan to arrive early. Arriving early also has the advantage in that we will be seen as a greeter. As people arrive they will naturally gravitate towards us. If possible try to position oneself facing towards the entrance to the room as it allows us see who is arriving and for them to easily see you.
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However, if we arrive after the room is full of people then put a smile on our face and to break the ice engage with the first person we meet. Then to progress so that we gently move to the middle of the room. If the first person you meet seems intent on staying on the edge then you can say, ?The group in the centre of the room looks interesting, let?s go and join them??
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The worst place to position oneself is on the edge of the room with our back to the wall. It makes us look uninteresting and lonely. The next worst place is in front of the coffee or buffet table. All you achieve is to frustrate people desperate for something to eat or drink.
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What to take with you
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Business cards are essential, a small notebook to make notes, a pen and a breath freshener. The breath freshener is a vital piece of equipment. I know of one individual who suffers from stale breath, particularly in the morning, and people are delighted when he asks for a business card as it indicates the end to the conversation and they can move away.
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Be a FLIRT
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Flirting is essential at networking meetings.
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F is for FUN
L is for LAUGHTER or at least having a smile on your face
I is being INTERESTED in what other people have to say
R is RESPONDING to what other people are saying through conversation
T is TALKING appropriately about yourself.
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In this context it means engaging with people effectively. It?s fun meeting new people, to laugh a lot or at least smile a great deal, be interested in what other people have to say, being able to have a conversation about work and life and being able to tell people about what we do.
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This brings us neatly to the topic of the elevator pitch and talking appropriately about what we do. So many books on networking talk about having an elevator pitch that can be delivered within sixty-seconds. Then they use it inappropriately ? the minute someone say?s ?What do you do?? out comes the rehearsed elevator pitch. Try this test. Stop reading this article and sit quietly for sixty seconds and listen. Boring isn?t it! So are most elevator pitches.
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The elevator pitch is an essential tool but should only be used after someone has asked ?So tell me more?. In addition to an elevator pitch (which is much better at thirty seconds in length) preface this with a sentence that generates the question, ?So tell me more?. Then deliver the elevator pitch
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Introducing yourself
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Always shake hands with people as you meet and state your name being careful not to mumble or say it so quickly that other person will not understand it. This will generally prompt the other person to tell you theirs.
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Conversation
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The is where we need to be more interested in the person speaking as opposed to being interesting. This means encouraging the other person to talk. So having a number of rehearsed questions can be useful. Such as ?Are you finding that business is growing?? What?s your main project for this year?? Avoid the question ?How?s business?? because almost everyone responds that it?s great, even when it isn?t. When we are being spoken to avoid the temptation to look over the persons shoulder to see who else we should be connecting with. It shows disinterest.
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Staying to the end
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Always plan to stay to the end of the meeting so that you allow as many people the opportunity to meet you. At this time the most important point of the room changes from the centre to near the exit.


As people begin to leave position yourself near the exit door. The objective is to position yourself so that it allows you to say goodbye to people, even briefly, just prior to their departure. It allows you to meet people you failed to connect with during the meeting.


However, don?t position yourself too near the exit. Within ten feet of the door people are intent on leaving and their concentration has changed focus. Also be prepared to have a very brief conversation, possible as short as promising to telephone each other to say what you both do.


Once done you will have ensured that the room has worked for you and your network grows more effectively.
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Stephen Harvard Davis is a leading business relationship specialist. He is the author of ?Why do 40% of Executives Fail?? and runs senior management events and advises individuals, organisations on business relationships and transition management.
He can be contacted: email Stephen@busrelcon.com.
www.busrelcon.com?????? www.stephenharvarddavis.com
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2 Comments so far

  1. Terry Bland December 12th, 2006 5:59 pm

    Some great practical advice!!! I will try to stop loitering around the buffet table from now on and try some of your other suggestions too.

  2. C Peters February 4th, 2007 7:02 pm

    I tried this at the local IOD meetings that we had and the techniques described in the article really worked for me.

    Being a “meeter and greeter” also gets you nticed by the organisers who are also willing to refer you onto other people.

    This article has made a difference to the way I network.

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